Bittersweet Archive

I keep you folded in the corners of my heart  

like a pressed flower that still bleeds color when I touch it

I long for your voice at midnight

for the way time moved slower when you were in it

I miss US

I miss the version of me that laughed without measuring the cost 

I miss the afternoons that tasted like sunlight and rain

I miss wanting the future and believing it would include you

And yet,

I want to burn the photographs

Scrape your name off the walls of my mind with shaking hands

Because remembering you is drinking salt water to quench thirst 

Because every beautiful memory has thorns and I keep bleeding

It is a cruel thing, to love a ghost and a moment at once 

To ache for the warmth of a fire that also burned you

To scroll through old days like prayer beads,

and wish I could forget how to pray

So I carry you like a bruise I am proud of and ashamed of

Beautiful

Unbearable

Mine and not mine anymore

I long for you

I long to not long for you

YOU became ME

Hey, you!

It’s me...

The one you keep looking for in old photos,  

in the way you used to laugh without covering your mouth,  

in the “yes” you said before checking if it was safe

I heard you knocking

I know you think I am gone

But I didn’t leave

I just stepped aside so you could grow

I see you now

carrying things I was too soft to hold

Saying “no” when I would have said “maybe”

Reading rooms before entering them

Loving with your eyes open

Don’t miss me so much that you forget to thank me

I was brave in a loud, reckless way

You are brave in a quiet, steady way

Both are real. Both are love

I can’t come back

That door only opens forward

But I left the light on for you

So on nights when the world feels heavy,  

come sit with me for a while

Borrow my laugh

Remember how it felt to believe without proof

You didn’t lose me

You became me

plus everything life taught you since

And I am proud

Not because you are tougher now

But because you are still tender  

despite everything that tried to harden you

So stop grieving

Start carrying

I am not behind you

I am inside you

Always,  

The version of you  

that loved without an armour 

Flowers at the Threshold

There's a room inside me  

I don’t go into anymore

The light switch still works

The dust knows the shape of my old smile

She’s there...

the version of me who didn’t overthink “good morning” texts

Who cried for five minutes and then moved on

Who trusted first, questioned later

Who thought broken meant fixable, always.

I press my palm to the door sometimes

I can hear her breathing

Carefree!

Unbothered by the weight I carry now  

like a second spine

I want to walk in and say sorry  

for all the things life made me learn  

that taught me how to leave rooms  

before they could hurt me

But doors only open one way

And I’m not her anymore

I am softer in places

harder in others

I read silences now

She only heard words

So, I leave her flowers at the threshold 

Old songs

Old jokes only we understood

A quiet “thank you”  

for teaching me how to feel  

before I learned how to protect myself

I can’t return to her

Forever, Without YOU

I carry you like a second heartbeat,  

quiet, steady, under all my noise

We will never share another sunrise,  

never trade one more ordinary word

and still, you are the place my soul returns to

It is an ache that learned my name

Some days it sits soft in my chest,  

like monsoon air before the rain

Some days it sharpens,  

a missing tooth in the smile I give the world

I won’t see you again in this life

No doors will open with your step,  

no chair will pull out just for me

And yet, I meet you everywhere

In the kindness I choose when I am tired,  

in the way I stay, even when leaving would be easier

What is this?

to love someone beyond the reach of hands,  

to build a forever out of memory a

But my heart refuses to close

Because loving you taught me how big it could be

So I will hold you there...

in the quiet room behind my ribs  

where time doesn’t end things

Not met again

Never gone

Forever, with you

Fragments of us

In ancient skies,

We were stars once,

Our souls did play,

Echoes of love in endless sway.

But galaxies shifted,

And we were torn,

Leaving traces of love

That won't be reborn.

In forgotten temples,

Whispers still remain,

Of a love that was,

And a love in vain.

Moonlight shadows,

A reminder true,

Of what we had,

And what we lost anew.

In forgotten nights,

We were once whole,

Whispers died,

Leaving just a hollow.

Shadows danced,

When memories clashed,

Stars misaligned, yet again,

Our paths did stray.

In this lifetime,

Fragments haunt and sting,

Every breath,

A reminder of what's gone.

A forgotten story,

An endless song,

Perhaps in dreams,

We'll find the pain.

Unwritten chapters,

Love's bitter refrain,

For in eternity,

Our love will reside,

A tale of longing,

Across lifetimes' tide.

Through misty veils,

I'll search for you,

In every lifetime,

My heart will pursue.

Through time and space,

They tear us apart,

In endless cycles,

I'll search for your heart.

Sunbeams and Shadows

Light and fate weave their way

In dawn's benign grey

Bursting free from the rills

Shadows dance in light's design

Echoing what's been and what's divine

What will be, will be, it says

While the wind gently sways 

Moments merge

Like threads in time

Lost whispers rise

In this rhyme

In the weave

A story's told

Of paths that crossed

Of hearts that hold

In silent spaces

Echoes abide

Unwritten lines

Where hearts reside

The unseen thread

It pulls us through

Into the mystery

Where love is true

In the folds of time

Shadows hide

Fragments of us

In whispers slide

The unsaid words

The unchosen roads

In the mosaic

They find their abodes 

Into the stillness

In solitude...

I found my voice

A hermit's path

My heart's choice

No echoes of the world's loud din,

Only whispers of my soul within

I hid away

To heal, mend and find my day

No judgments

No expectations

Just the stillness

In silence...

I found my strength

A transformation

A  rebirth's length

The world outside receded fast

As I emerged, reborn, at last

My eyes, like lotus petals, opened wide

A new perspective

My spirit's tide

The recluse became the seer

A spiritual awakening

My heart's clear

No longer hiding

But, shining bright

A light in darkness

Guiding light

My solitude

A sacred space

Where I found myself

My true face