YOU became ME

Hey, you!

It’s me...

The one you keep looking for in old photos,  

in the way you used to laugh without covering your mouth,  

in the “yes” you said before checking if it was safe

I heard you knocking

I know you think I am gone

But I didn’t leave

I just stepped aside so you could grow

I see you now

carrying things I was too soft to hold

Saying “no” when I would have said “maybe”

Reading rooms before entering them

Loving with your eyes open

Don’t miss me so much that you forget to thank me

I was brave in a loud, reckless way

You are brave in a quiet, steady way

Both are real. Both are love

I can’t come back

That door only opens forward

But I left the light on for you

So on nights when the world feels heavy,  

come sit with me for a while

Borrow my laugh

Remember how it felt to believe without proof

You didn’t lose me

You became me

plus everything life taught you since

And I am proud

Not because you are tougher now

But because you are still tender  

despite everything that tried to harden you

So stop grieving

Start carrying

I am not behind you

I am inside you

Always,  

The version of you  

that loved without an armour