Love F(actually!)

While LOVE is multidimensional and speaks of emotions manifold, encompasses multivariate equations/ co-relations between two beings; animate, inanimate and beast alike...regardless of what is the type of alliance, for that matter, a relationship exists at all or not (that, which is definable within defined codes of definitions/ societal definers)...Phew !! a rather infinite pronouncement, isn't it ?! Nevertheless, it's essence is further more diverse and perplexing to the core, enough to bewilder!

However, let me be forthright in expressing that the case in point here is restricted to ‘Romantic love’ only...the one that makes us all drool ! But, really?! In fact, it's complexity intrigues me, leaves me questioning, just like presence of God as an entity baffles the hell out of me ! Yet, I am a firm believer of the unseen, unfelt, but supposedly omnipotence of the 'powerful' force. But, more so, I have faith in Faith and not in any 'physical' form. And I feel the same for the 'emotion' being picked up by my fancy here. However, let me confess, for reasons unknown, so far, I have always followed my heart in 'matters of heart'. I guess, that's how it is deemed to be, isn't it? A rather close resonance? I know!

The above prelude was important to put a perspective in place. More often than not, we witness a lot of chaos around this overtly exploited emotion. Don’t we? What I perceive is, it oscillates between ‘bitter’ and ‘sweet’, sometimes pleasant and in others, gloomy.

So, I recently watched this movie Dedh Ishqiya’, which talks about 7 shades that LOVE encompasses. I was instantaneously backlashed by the mere concept.  However, it stayed in my head for quite some time and grabbed my attention to the core.  This further made me venture out with my ‘green’ thinking cap on. With some bit of reading and exploration, I stumbled upon the fact, that it is all rooted in Arabic philosophy. Quite interesting, I also got to know that the beautiful song ‘Satrangi re’ from the movie Dil se is also about the same. Deftly penned by Gulzar, knitted into music by A.R.Rehman and brought alive by Sonu Nigam’s voice, this one’s surely a sight, extremely artistic and figurative, woven into meters of symbolism. This song is played at all major turning points of the film where the characters cross each of these 7 check points leading ultimately to their death. Inexorably drawn towards each other, the crescendo of love goes on increasing unchecked.

Needless to mention, it was beyond my comprehension when I had heard it for the first time. I was relatively younger then and the love bug (in whatever form) was yet to hit my conscience.

Precisely, all of us journey through one or more of these 7 stages (at least once in life-time, with one person or multiple!): 

1.      Attraction (Hub): It sparks off when eye meets eye (or anything for that matter!) Completely engulfed in enchantment, this is the stage when all negative traits are ignored. Respite is found in commonalities. There are butterflies in the stomach and fluttery heart doesn’t stop beating. Captivated, this is sweetest amongst all stages.

2.      Infatuation (Uns): At this stage, love begins to intensify, which means, amongst all things, ‘to become red in the face’, suggesting that the love is now having a physical effect on the lover.

3.      Love (Ishq): It is the peak of the feel good involved in the process. If this point is crossed, the bliss starts decreasing. We can't say whether pain starts after this stage or not, but the ideas of bliss and pain start getting increasingly impersonal. If love crosses this point, there usually is no turning back.

Most halt at these three phases and breaks are drawn at the subconscious level because what lies ahead is unstoppable destruction.

4.      Reverence (Aqeedat): An object one initially was infatuated with and attracted to, becomes the object of reverence which leads to it becoming an object of worship.

5.      Worship (Ibadat): The object of worship is elevated to a higher pedestal where nothing can be wrong with the object. There can be no negotiations about the infallibility of the object. Interesting thing is, until this point, the duality of lover and beloved is maintained. Although the object becomes infallible and utmost important, this is not the point where the identity of person is lost.

The next 2 steps are so insanely dangerous that few dare to tread upon…

6.      Obsession (Junoon): Here, slowly, person starts identifying whole-heartedly with the object of his obsession. To such an extent that the existence-nonexistence of the object becomes the matter of one’s own existence-nonexistence.

7.      Death (Maut): The Final stage, Death. This can be literal as well as figurative. Destruction of a person/ relation/ ego et al.

Phew! Seems I have chewed on this quite a bit. However, this makes a lot of sense to me and I have begun to look at it from a different angle.

Let's admit, just like God (read: faith), Love is also very much personal...so, it's all about my love/ your love/ his love/ her love/ their love and so on. No one can feel it for the other. A universal definition is no good ! I don’t think it could be defined. It would be injustice to both the ‘feeling’ and it’s definition in itself ! And certainly, there is no right or wrong way of being 'in love'. Have we arrived at any consensus with the endless quibbles on whether my faith is fairer than yours? Perhaps not ! It's a futile war. After all, how can one contest an emotion, a feeling? Again, our comprehension is limited to social conditioning. Whatever might be the instrument of ‘socialization’, our belief system is institutionalized by what we gather along the way.

Nevertheless, I strongly feel it is critical to confess/ confront/ acquaint the significant other(s)on one’s take on love before plunging into a so-called 'relationship' or conning one for attainment any sort of 'personal pursuits'. World is infinite and we are deemed to find people with similar bent of mind, who, not only nod with our line of thinking/ rationalizing, but also might reciprocate feelings in the similar way, as we do.

Ever wondered, why is the beautiful emotion abused and misused to an extent that we get panic attacks at times...refrain from plunging (read: falling) in love, once bruised? So, there is just one basic principle in love...Transparency ! It is indeed a straight and simple way to deal with all the complications, a sure shot precaution for any (ouch!) ‘heart ache’. Express feelings as they are and allow the other person (whom you 'love') take cognizance of your faith (read: love). I don't think there is any alternate way ! Now, a million dollar question arises…what if it's not reciprocated? Well ! in that case, move on, buddy ! Explore a like-minded partner... After all, we are huge a species! But, do not keep someone in dark…You must reveal the deepest recesses of your soul, your stance on love. Let the person ‘respect’ you and not the mask that you tend to portray!

Hmmm...So, I stumbled upon a quote recently, which kind of shook me, left me with a reality check. It was, "Follow your heart, but take your brain with you" Demystifies the mystery?! Somewhat, indeed !