Love F(actually!)

While LOVE is multidimensional and speaks of emotions manifold, encompasses multivariate equations/ co-relations between two beings; animate, inanimate and beast alike...regardless of what is the type of alliance, for that matter, a relationship exists at all or not (that, which is definable within defined codes of definitions/ societal definers)...Phew !! a rather infinite pronouncement, isn't it ?! Nevertheless, it's essence is further more diverse and perplexing to the core, enough to bewilder!

However, let me be forthright in expressing that the case in point here is restricted to ‘Romantic love’ only...the one that makes us all drool ! But, really?! In fact, it's complexity intrigues me, leaves me questioning, just like presence of God as an entity baffles the hell out of me ! Yet, I am a firm believer of the unseen, unfelt, but supposedly omnipotence of the 'powerful' force. But, more so, I have faith in Faith and not in any 'physical' form. And I feel the same for the 'emotion' being picked up by my fancy here. However, let me confess, for reasons unknown, so far, I have always followed my heart in 'matters of heart'. I guess, that's how it is deemed to be, isn't it? A rather close resonance? I know!

The above prelude was important to put a perspective in place. More often than not, we witness a lot of chaos around this overtly exploited emotion. Don’t we? What I perceive is, it oscillates between ‘bitter’ and ‘sweet’, sometimes pleasant and in others, gloomy.

So, I recently watched this movie Dedh Ishqiya’, which talks about 7 shades that LOVE encompasses. I was instantaneously backlashed by the mere concept.  However, it stayed in my head for quite some time and grabbed my attention to the core.  This further made me venture out with my ‘green’ thinking cap on. With some bit of reading and exploration, I stumbled upon the fact, that it is all rooted in Arabic philosophy. Quite interesting, I also got to know that the beautiful song ‘Satrangi re’ from the movie Dil se is also about the same. Deftly penned by Gulzar, knitted into music by A.R.Rehman and brought alive by Sonu Nigam’s voice, this one’s surely a sight, extremely artistic and figurative, woven into meters of symbolism. This song is played at all major turning points of the film where the characters cross each of these 7 check points leading ultimately to their death. Inexorably drawn towards each other, the crescendo of love goes on increasing unchecked.

Needless to mention, it was beyond my comprehension when I had heard it for the first time. I was relatively younger then and the love bug (in whatever form) was yet to hit my conscience.

Precisely, all of us journey through one or more of these 7 stages (at least once in life-time, with one person or multiple!): 

1.      Attraction (Hub): It sparks off when eye meets eye (or anything for that matter!) Completely engulfed in enchantment, this is the stage when all negative traits are ignored. Respite is found in commonalities. There are butterflies in the stomach and fluttery heart doesn’t stop beating. Captivated, this is sweetest amongst all stages.

2.      Infatuation (Uns): At this stage, love begins to intensify, which means, amongst all things, ‘to become red in the face’, suggesting that the love is now having a physical effect on the lover.

3.      Love (Ishq): It is the peak of the feel good involved in the process. If this point is crossed, the bliss starts decreasing. We can't say whether pain starts after this stage or not, but the ideas of bliss and pain start getting increasingly impersonal. If love crosses this point, there usually is no turning back.

Most halt at these three phases and breaks are drawn at the subconscious level because what lies ahead is unstoppable destruction.

4.      Reverence (Aqeedat): An object one initially was infatuated with and attracted to, becomes the object of reverence which leads to it becoming an object of worship.

5.      Worship (Ibadat): The object of worship is elevated to a higher pedestal where nothing can be wrong with the object. There can be no negotiations about the infallibility of the object. Interesting thing is, until this point, the duality of lover and beloved is maintained. Although the object becomes infallible and utmost important, this is not the point where the identity of person is lost.

The next 2 steps are so insanely dangerous that few dare to tread upon…

6.      Obsession (Junoon): Here, slowly, person starts identifying whole-heartedly with the object of his obsession. To such an extent that the existence-nonexistence of the object becomes the matter of one’s own existence-nonexistence.

7.      Death (Maut): The Final stage, Death. This can be literal as well as figurative. Destruction of a person/ relation/ ego et al.

Phew! Seems I have chewed on this quite a bit. However, this makes a lot of sense to me and I have begun to look at it from a different angle.

Let's admit, just like God (read: faith), Love is also very much personal...so, it's all about my love/ your love/ his love/ her love/ their love and so on. No one can feel it for the other. A universal definition is no good ! I don’t think it could be defined. It would be injustice to both the ‘feeling’ and it’s definition in itself ! And certainly, there is no right or wrong way of being 'in love'. Have we arrived at any consensus with the endless quibbles on whether my faith is fairer than yours? Perhaps not ! It's a futile war. After all, how can one contest an emotion, a feeling? Again, our comprehension is limited to social conditioning. Whatever might be the instrument of ‘socialization’, our belief system is institutionalized by what we gather along the way.

Nevertheless, I strongly feel it is critical to confess/ confront/ acquaint the significant other(s)on one’s take on love before plunging into a so-called 'relationship' or conning one for attainment any sort of 'personal pursuits'. World is infinite and we are deemed to find people with similar bent of mind, who, not only nod with our line of thinking/ rationalizing, but also might reciprocate feelings in the similar way, as we do.

Ever wondered, why is the beautiful emotion abused and misused to an extent that we get panic attacks at times...refrain from plunging (read: falling) in love, once bruised? So, there is just one basic principle in love...Transparency ! It is indeed a straight and simple way to deal with all the complications, a sure shot precaution for any (ouch!) ‘heart ache’. Express feelings as they are and allow the other person (whom you 'love') take cognizance of your faith (read: love). I don't think there is any alternate way ! Now, a million dollar question arises…what if it's not reciprocated? Well ! in that case, move on, buddy ! Explore a like-minded partner... After all, we are huge a species! But, do not keep someone in dark…You must reveal the deepest recesses of your soul, your stance on love. Let the person ‘respect’ you and not the mask that you tend to portray!

Hmmm...So, I stumbled upon a quote recently, which kind of shook me, left me with a reality check. It was, "Follow your heart, but take your brain with you" Demystifies the mystery?! Somewhat, indeed !

When Veils Enchant

Leaving an impact,
On the onlooker,
Wonder not, reality what is !
Is an art, or isn't it?
Portrayal of self-image,
What not, one really is,
But, a reversal of projection,
Creation of an illusion,
Skillfully crafted manipulation,
Shrouding mysteries of self,
Or what the inner-being embodies,
Representing the flips,
That seem surreal,
Hence, enchanting & captivating,
And certainly,
When ace the artistry,
Of befooling,
Becomes a way of life,
Habit or reflexes,
That reflect much, 
About one's intentions,
But, then sorted or type-casted,
In a way, where,
Exactness is impervious,
What triggers,
Such sadistic joys of mis-interpretation ?
Insecurity enveloped in  negativity,
Or is it desire to be loved,
Then, strangely though,
What baffles me is,
Attains what one,
When a mask is revered,
But, not their self actual ?

Silhouette

Painted ruddy red

Spreading across horizon

Splashed canvas

With colors multitude

The streaks clamor

Story of passion absolute

A sudden recollection

Of bygones

For this is the time

When the mind maneuvers

Over terrains 

Of Joys and pain alike

On it's own

By itself

Relaxed it is or is it perplexed?

It knows not!

Flows and flies

With thoughtful juices

Doing rounds the grey cells

Losing self

Or loosing out?

Again,it knows not!

Senses desensualizing sensibilities

Following darken, mesmerized

Sans effectual of conditions

That draweth lines not

And just like a flowing setting sun

Traverses beyond

To a world unknown

For thoughts are unpaid 

But,isn't possessing an illusion

Is,in fact,as good as possessing

Nothing at all?

And then,when you lose yourself

To something or someone

You hardly have anything

That you could lose out too!

Wringers...no.more

There were questions many
But, when i set out,
To seek answers
The questions had changed
Mulling over,
Deeply analyzing,
What back then,
Seemed ephemeral
A reality absolute
And then when gradually
Showed up in it's worst
I wondered what reality was
Wrapped and masked
Honeycombed
When revealed
Turned bitterest bitter
Howbeit
Wonders now
Is it imperative to know the answers
When questions have taken
Course another?

The Journey within...

(Thoughts that crossed my mind while flying to KL for the much awaited vacation, which changed me, FOREVER ! The Journey outward, was indeed a journey within...)

As the plane cruised between clouds, leaving below the much loved city of Bangalore & associations of yester-years as a rebus absolute !

Three sixty five days, twelve months, one full year ! It takes a lot to change - or so to say, Accept, Adjust & Accommodate to what lies at present, as reality absolute. The journey to outer realization takes a lot of strive to peep within, look inwards to introspect and make sense of existence of body & the soul. To gaze and realize the reason behind flurry of events that race against time. After all, the time in the year bygone, not only sped, but also sprinted in fleeting speed. Glad it's over ! May it rest in peace.

Thirty thousand feet above, amidst wandering mass, while I looked below, gathering a lot of sense of what life has to offer. My senses rejoiced and clamored that the journey (of life) had just begun and I felt elated to ring in to new adventures, with full gusto ! Perhaps I was asleep all this while, perhaps I had not yet acquainted myself with life in real. But, hold on, events that swept by, were those quintessential? What if they had taken some other course? Had things not been coarse, but smooth, could I have seen this day with a new outlook? Perhaps not!

At times it takes a lot of pain in order to realize & appreciate the beauty of this ever complicated life. After all, as the wise ones say, 'Every pain has a purpose'. No wonder, whether pain is self-inflicted or passed on through an extrinsic force, it is essential to experience it. Not once, but multiple times, to chisel out our beautiful self. After all, an earthen pot is beaten many times to carve out a desirable self. A much known philosophy, isn't it? 

The year that swept by, began with apathy, gory revelations, all that was smeared with honeycombed verses, was, in fact, realized to be blanketed with intentions evil. Startled by witnessing duality in beings, I was shattered & broken, for sometime. But, certainly not, for ever ! After all it's not core of my being to stay affected or bothered by something external for long ! Nevertheless, it DID leave an everlasting stench & I DID froze for sometime. Of what was believed to be truth, was indeed manipulation supreme. But, I held on...or perhaps time pushed me ahead.

And time fleeted by, leaving me all the more perplexed...for, what I was witnessing was beyond slightest of assumption that could have touched my conscience. Further worse, things went against my favor, progressed to grey & then ultimately turned blackest black ! And I am glad that I experienced all the pain, for I feel nothing could be more worse in life ! Or perhaps, that's only a perception. I know not...however, I have decided to tread ahead with full vigor.

Gradually, mystery unfolded and reality danced in it's ugliest form. But, I am glad, that it DID ! For, it was indeed an eye-opener, that changed my perspective, ten...errr...no! hundred-folds and for ever ! However, I still wonder, what instigates such foolhardiness in beings as they deal in with their relationships. Yes, I am absolutely clueless ! Of course we are born alone and ultimately die alone as well. But, don't we share lives? Isn't it critical to cultivate 'healthy' relationships & most importantly, cherish them forever? Mulling still !

Nexus

Neither to fend ego,
Nor to feed lust,
And, certainly not to split trust,
Since it is the bedrock,
Which holds strong the structure,
Or, so it must !
Cheer with confidence,
Oh yes !
And then,
Neither flatter, nor scorn,
Existence bilateral & cohesive,
Comprehend silence,
Absorb differences,
Respect space,
Howbeit, 
Not margin out self-world,
Lest to create fisssures or clefts,
Of sorts all !
Live not,
In an unapproachable cocoon,
Share laughter & fears,
Insecurities & dreams,
Highs & lows alike !
Percieved picture perfect,
Is an utopia alone
Nevertheless,
The persistent strive itself,
To maintain a continuum,
To create a semblance,
Of emotions enwrapped,
Timeless & conditionless,
In harmony absolute,
Melodies Medlodicious,
A tightened bond,
Sans bondages !

Lost in the Dark

Inspired by Original Painting using Knife Strokes

Lights in the twilight had dimmed,
Glitter had given way to repose,
Ushered by a reclining face,
Which, usually nights bestow upon,
The city was soon to fall,
Into a deep slumber,

Heedless or sightless,

Of the world, of the mortals,

Who stalk out,

When the fortunate find comfort,

In silken smooth,

Warmth of shielded blanket,

While, the 'tagged' straggler,

Glows like glow worm,

Provocatively suited, 

To suit the context,

Attract to seduce,

Colored in excess,

Blushed, glossy cheeks, 

Douched in mascara,

Deepest black,

Mellifluous boody,

It is her time to rule the street,

Or, is it really ?

Ritzy cars speed by,

Each, deemed to,

Fill in empty pockets,

With coinages or currency alike,

Few tease by, some unwarry,

Of her presence,

Since partnered, 

By partner-in-crime or kin,

Although, gawk almost 

With squint eye,

For socially conditioned norms,

Appreciate straight gaze NOT !

And then, post hours of halt,

A car screeched brakes,

Almost colliding & blowing off,

Closely, by past her,

Dragged in to please,

Gratify the instincts beast-like,

Of the glutton,

Who ripped her apart,

The minimal strands of robe,

Tearing off,

Then there were,

Bruises of all sorts,

Over & done with her,

Strangled her in heart,

With a dagger sharp,

Then, hurled her past the street,

To where she belonged !

Whining in agony,

She shrieked for help,

None to heed ear,

Wilted in pain,

Until the azure up,

Silenced & cleared,

Then, she hushed,

Leaving her torso,

While the soul moved up there,

Liberated eternally,

In peace & break-free,

Chains none, 

& conditions of existence bereft !